Techniques to Develop your Own Personal Parenting Guide
The first step in developing a workable parenting plan is to set you and your family up to win (not to fail). Make your guide grow as you do, realize that there are times when things do not go as planned. These are not times of failure; instead view them as growth lessons. Maybe it has not kept up with the growing pace of your family. Or maybe you are just experiencing teething problems in finding the right way to incorporate the new skills that you are learning as a parent. After all it is a full time job keeping up with the growing and changing demands of our children. For me, my perfect family is one that achieves my dreams more times than it does not. I believe it is important to realize that as human beings although we need to interact and have meaningful relationships with others, it doesn’t mean that these relationships have to be perfect all the time. In fact I like to use the analogy of sailing in the ocean to view the way my family functions. There are times when the sailing gets rough and the work is hard while at other times it can be smooth sailing where everything just flows effortlessly. But no matter what the nature of the waves, the sheer magnificence of the ocean always gives me goose bumps and fills me with awe and inspiration. And the more I learn to understand how the waves and undercurrents of the ocean work the easier I can maneuver through its ups and downs with greater certainty, while at the same time gaining even greater joy from it.
The second step is to get a clear picture of what want for your children and your family as a whole. Start by dreaming how your perfect family would be, what type of parent would you be, what type of adults do you want your kids to grow up to be? What type of role model do you want to be for your children? If you are not sure what to write down for this then try writing down what you do not want for yourself as a parent and for your children. Often we are not that clear on what we do want but are very clear on what we do not want. To get what you do want simple write down the exact opposite of what you do not want. Another way to find out what you want and don’t want is to watch other parents and children. This is an approach my husband and I use regularly for finding ways to improve on many areas of our lives, for our relationship for our finances and for our children. Learning from others is called behaviour modeling (see link below).
The next step in developing your parenting guide is to state the why behind each of the above statement. Why is it important for me to be this kind of parent or to help my child develop these skills? Knowing why you want something gives it more meaning and will give you a more compelling reason to make it happen. The how is not that important at this stage. Once you are clear on want you want then it is amazing how things start to grab your attention. These things will help to fill in the how to blanks later on. Have you ever notice how when you buy a new car or even just think that a particular car would be nice to have that all of a sudden you see that style of car everywhere.
Well this same principle applies to anything you focus on. Once your vision is clear on what you want as a parent then you will start to find ways to achieve it. You will start to notice things around you that have always been there. You will start to search in the right places (just like you are doing now).
Behaviour Modeling Keep watching our website for the following to be posted soon. • Articles on Child Developmental Stages
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